Holding a Grudge

I drove a different way home yesterday, down an inner-city street that I haven’t been to in some time. While stopped in traffic I looked around, amazed at how much had changed and how much had stayed the same. My eyes settled on café and it crossed my mind that I did not like that place much. I tried to remember why. 

I lived in that inner-city suburb in the late 90s, I frequented every café on that street, often. I reckoned that I had to walk past 200 cafes to get to the supermarket, so why bother cooking. But that one café was a no-go zone. 

It wasn’t the food, or the service, or the clientele, it was one particular incident. 

There was a homeless man who lived on that street. All the locals knew him and often stopped by to share a cigarette, a story and to pass the time.  

One day, from across the street, I saw the owner of that café treat our homeless friend with significant and unnecessary force, evicting him from the outdoor space and out of sight of the café patrons.  

As I sat in the traffic yesterday I remembered that as the reason why I didn’t like that café. That incident happened 20 years ago, so why did it stick with me for so long? Kindness, empathy, putting yourself in another person’s shoes, are all values that I try to live by. That moment was none of those things. 

Sure, a homeless person hanging around a café might be perceived as bad for business, but I knew that man and I knew that street and it was an over the top action against another human who shared the same spaces that we called home.

Sure, I’ve lived in many suburbs, even countries, since then. That café has probably changed hands many times too, or maybe not. From my reaction just looking at the cafe yesterday, that moment will stick with me forever and I will never go there. 

My lessons from yesterday, and from 20 years ago: kindness matters, it’s good for business and has long term paybacks. Also, I can never again say that I don’t hold a grudge.